10pm- I have a cold can of coke in my hand. My hair is pushed back. The strap from my dress keeps sliding of my shoulder. This has only been like, the millionth time, I've pushed the strap back. I am standing next to the giant. The traffic light. It towers over me and as soon as I spot my hero from afar, I run across the street. Thank you, little green man, for saving me. I shiver as an old woman shifts her gaze and examines me from head to toe. But I tell myself that I'll be okay- and I take a large sip of coke. The can has now frozen my hand. Solid ice. But I tell myself that I'll be okay- and I take a larger sip of coke. I feel as if the weight of the world has stopped me from growing- vertically. The chemistry books in my bag forces my body to lean towards the left, at an awkward angle. I feel your presence, and for a very brief moment, my heart stirrs up a ludricrous concoction of anger and sympathy. I suddenly, hope to see you. I shake myself so hard, a little bit of coke splashes onto my arm. "Fuck", I say. Then, I continue walking. I pass the street soccer court, and the basketball court. To my relief, you aren't there. I am too shy to look out for you. Then, I continue walking. I turn behind to find that no one is chasing me. No one is chasing me.

Not everything can be wrtitten in black and white, my friend. Sometimes, you just have to dig a little deeper, think a little harder, and cry a little louder. It is perfectly normal to feel perplexed and inextricably self-involved in this dilemma. But when it comes to making accusations, and jumping into conclusions, you may want to take a step back and question the person's intentions first. Yes, things may seem very vague at first. Yes, you may feel utterly displeased- and like a disgruntled soldier, you withdraw, and push blame. And so I'll ask you this: Yet again, what is a friendship which leaves you out and forces you to drown in your own self-pity? What is a friendship which lets you die, and lets your remains go unnoticed for several weeks? What is a friendship which makes you feel taken advantaged of, as if you've been stripped down to the bone? That's not a friend, that's merely just an accquaintance. One who sees things in his light, and does not stoop down or tiptoe, to see things in your light.

Dinner with my family at marina mandarin hotel was awesomeeeee( esp the part where we practically CLEARED the desert table OMGGG). Lahvin, look at my dad, and tell me he looks sexy. hhahahaha i bet you don't remember him like that haha.

Nothing much has been going on recently. I swear, Im telling the truth.

number 4: be less complicating. get straight to the point, divya.

TODAY WAS INTENSE. MY FACE WAS BURNING UP.  I WAS BLUSHING ON THE INSIDE. THANK GOD IM INDIAN. OTHERWISE, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING OBVIOUS THAT I WAS BLUSHING. VARSHA, MY DEAR, THANK FOR BEING THERE FOR ME! OMG OMG OMG I SERIOUSLY COULD NOT THANK YOU ENOUGH. IM GONNA GIVE YOU A TIGHT TIGHT TIGHT TIGHT HUG ON MONDAY. BUT IM STILL GOING TO KILL YOU OMG HAHAHA. YOU WAIT YOUR TURN. YOU.WAIT.YOUR.TURN :D

(the list)
number 3: do not ever, and I mean ever, ditch my green apple mornings and strawberry sandwhich afternoons, ever again. no matter what. no need to care about stupid circumstances whatsoever.

Everytime we converse, you stab me with your words.
Everytime we laugh, you give my smile a reason t fade.
Everytime I walk, you trip me till I bruise badly.
Everytime I attempt to run till the sun rises, you grab my shirt and pull me back into the mud pool.
Everytime you speak, you never ever lose the audacity to tell me that I've lost.
Everytime you chance upon achivement, you gloat and think that pride is a necessity.
Everytime they are knocked down with the simplest form of rejection, they hide.
Everytime they are faced with a new obstacle, they become pretentious and say that you never were their friend anyway.

So tell me that you trust me, and tell me that you truly mean it when you question, "are you okay?"/"so how's everything with you?"/"take care okay?".
Because at the end of the day, no friend ever, and I mean ever, means whatever he or she says. Unless you've actually spent a day with them at the coffee house. Otherwise, they'll leave you. They are not but the tide. And you, you my dear friend, you are the mermaid.

Subway with the girls. I finally satisfied my craving OMG. anyway, varsha my dear, I hope you're feeling much better. You did well on your own -enough said. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met. Do not let anyone one else bring you down. Take comfort in your cousin, for he's your little brother, and your friend at the same time(: Things should not have to be this difficult for you, because you most certainly do not deserve to go through such pain. But you've become a better person. If you haven't noticed, you've become stronger. And it is perfectly normal to crumble every now and then. If it makes you feel better, you should crumble every week. But do not let negative thoughts back into your head. You're a winner(: Just let it out. I'll hug you as tight as I can, for as long as I can. I promise. If there's anything, anything at all you need to talk about, remember my dear, we're always here. I appreciate the little things you do- like how you take your time to talk to me and comfort me, letting me know that i'll be just fine(: Thank you for that. The world needs to see more of you, really. I love you! (TIGHT HUG)

(the list)
Number 2. Talk less for god's sake. The whole world doesn't need to know that you exist. pfffft.

Okay so, I have to have to have to thank Hannah Lim Su Ting for drawing this for me hahaha. she said that she would draw something for me as a birthday gift. And quite honestly, I love drawings. So even if I see some unfamiliar face in a particular drawing, I'd still love it to bits. Hannah, I'll laminate this and keep it with my stack of cards. Thanks beb:D She said she didn't know who the guy in the drawing was, but she saw his face and thought he was hot, haha, so she decided to draw him. Apparently, he's some character from some manga anime thing. Whatever, I LOVE IT. I'm featuring Sleepy's art tomorrow haha(don't say no haikal, I've already made up my mind).

Oh yeah, and Im continuing on my list of things to do before I turn seventeen next year. I only completed half of the things on my list this year before I turned sixteen. So Im definitely giving myself a headstart this time.
Number 1. Learn how to fry scrambled eggs (Lahvin's helping me with this one teehee)

ps: SEAN CHRISTOPHER GARVER, YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD TIME IN SYDNEY OKAY. I WANT PICTURES FROM THE ROADTRIP AND OH YEAH, DON'T FORGET TO PACK YUR BRAS. BON VOYAGE! :D

 

 

Because it isn't good generalizing people like that- When boys say that girls are of a certain nature and when girls say that boys are of a certain nature. You become common, and lose your title of "one in a million". Just because now, you are not but another face in the crowd. Another voice that people shun. Another idea of a perfect girlfriend, or a perfect human being. Another flower that people pick, and another bowl of noodles that a child usually picks at. You are common. People look at you and they do not look straight into your heart- instead, they ponder deeply and strive to figure out who you greatly resemble. You are not significant, just another replica, a clone. You fail to see the beauty of an earthquake or the horror of the calm seas. You are not but one of them, too. You speak, to gain popularity. You walk, and hope to be noticed. You become strong under false pretence, just to let them see that you are the tree, and not the leaf. You are one in a million, don't you see? I see you, I see you as a whole. And I notice you. I analyze you. But I never, ever, generalize you. I see you.

I'd give up my entire day just to play on the swings with you guys(:
I feel completely shagged, my saturdays are always burnttttttttttttttt. but overall, I HAD A GOOD DAY. you were only on my mind for about 2-3 times, 2-3 minutes each time. so that's a big feat, and im glad(: I can't completely boot you out of my mind because im no superman. but heck, for what its worth, I've started to feel good about myself already(: and that's a big feat too.

All I need is a kick ass song, a pair of running shoes, sour plum, a friend, and a bottle of vanilla coke. Then, I would not need you. Today, I listened to a kick ass song, while running with my running shoes on, and when I came back home I had sour plum, I talked to a friend on the phone, but I still don't have vanilla coke ): BUT THAT'S OKAY! because I have nivea lotion on and I smell almost like vanilla. almost. hahaha. I'm over you. I am officially, finally, (thankfully) over you. haha you were decent, sweet, and you charmed me with our first handshake and your hillarious expressions. Look what we've become. We've turned into ashes and wine. I do not blame you- I thank you, actually. Because if it weren't for fate, I'd still be falling head over heels for you. I love fate now. It has taught me so much, and so have you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you (: Don't worry, this post was sincere, and was not written with the slightest hint of irony. I was not being sarcastic, really.

OKAY I HAVE MOVED. YAY! blogger has been giving me a headache, so hopefully weebly doesn't(: PLUS, WEEBLY SOUNDS ADORABLE. THANK YOU EVELYN FOO SUK CHUEN FOR YOUR HELP HAHA. pixiedusts.weebly.com - got some hot chick.go seeeeeee (hahaha eve please don't kill me)